You know I've been thinking. "How much of what I create comes from me, and how much comes from what I've experienced." The point is moot either way, no matter what, you still created something out of nothing, and it still exists as it's own thing outside of you now that you've conjured it. It's a fascinating subject, though.
I've had people come up to me and try to tell me that my art is the way that it is because of the trauma I went through, and that I wouldn't be able to make art without it. I've also had people tell me that my art is the way it is in spite of what I've been through, and it's only through whatever strangeness happens to have been in me when I was born is what causes art. And I've had people tell me that I would have made art wither way, but that my trauma has messed up my art.
I don't think any of these viewpoints are entirely correct.
Sure, I probably would have been making art no matter what. And, yes, what I've gone through in life does affect me art. However, I think that sometimes we shift too much weight onto how much of an artist is theirs and how much is their lived experience. When we do that, it takes away from part of the autonomy of both. You can be an artist. You can have your lived experience. You can have your art. All these things can be correct, and distinct at the same time.
I think that focusing too much on "how much of an artist is their pain?" leads to the myth and stereotype of the tortured artist. How only the most injured lost souls can create art. That myth isn't helping anyone. It makes people wonder if they've gone through enough to make "proper art" and stops people from trying in the first place. It glorifies, and romanticizes abuse, and bad environments. Plus, it can sometimes cause us to shrug off the responsibility of looking at the harm it causes because "something good came of it."
You can make lemonade out of lemons, or a house out of bricks, and still admit that it was pretty shitty that someone through lemons and bricks at your face. It hurt, and you made something good of it. Both can be true. It doesn't invalidate the pain. It doesn't excuse the abuser because you got a few bricks out of the deal. And, it also doesn't change that you made a kickass house and a delicious treat out of your own bruised body, and some bruised fruit. How cool is that?
Anyways, basically just enjoy your art, and stop worrying about how much of it is affected or not affected by your pain. Some of it might be touched by it, and maybe all of it is a part of that. But it's all you, and all yours either way. And if anyone tries to tell you how to interpret your life experience, you have my full permission to shove a sock in their face.
(For liability reasons, though, maybe just keep it to a mental sock.)
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